Wordplay Whiz Pillows

'I'm pretty sure he's been s-q-u-a-s-h-e-d...'

'I'll keep my remarks brief.'

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

'I'll tell you what type of leader I am when I find who my followers are.

"I think the computer's trying to download something."

"Don't worry Mr. Wallace, we will get to the root of the problem."

"How long have you been unhinged?"

'That's Friday, Ed.'

"The cool investors are paid with the contributions of the dorkier ones. It's a Fonzie scheme."

'Now hold on just a minute. Let's not jump ahead of ourselves.'

Bird's telephone exchange - Early Bird Wormcatchers, inc

Buck Stops Here

'It's a common misconception. Sometime we actually get quite hot.'

'My dad must be a workout freak! He spends all day exercising his options.'

All Ears

"Oh, I see the problem – you brought impassable burgers."

'There you go, one picture of beer ??" $12.50' The down side to comedy clubs.

"Good ephening."

'Has anyone ever told you that you have really bad broth?'

Cogito, ergo sum.

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'The consultant came in and cut us all down to size.'

'In order to cut down on clerical errors, I've bought in an expert.'

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, open sesame!"

Crack Hoe

The world is my oyster, Doctor. That's good. I'm allergic to shellfish. That's bad.

In his case it's not "feudalism," it's "futile-ism"!

Gloria accused me of mansplaining. Would you like me to wolverinesplain something to her? It might provide some perspective.

"I didn't say 'Hey Jack', I said 'Stay Back'!"

The term's origin

Coy Polloi

"You throw like a bitch."

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

"I’d invite you in, but I’ve been neutered."

Law 'N' Order