Wordplay Whiz T-Shirts

'I'm pretty sure he's been s-q-u-a-s-h-e-d...'

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

"I think the computer's trying to download something."

'I'll tell you what type of leader I am when I find who my followers are.

"Don't worry Mr. Wallace, we will get to the root of the problem."

'That's Friday, Ed.'

"Good ephening."

"Oh, I see the problem – you brought impassable burgers."

Buck Stops Here

'Has anyone ever told you that you have really bad broth?'

'Now hold on just a minute. Let's not jump ahead of ourselves.'

'There you go, one picture of beer ??" $12.50' The down side to comedy clubs.

"The cool investors are paid with the contributions of the dorkier ones. It's a Fonzie scheme."

Bird's telephone exchange - Early Bird Wormcatchers, inc

'It's a common misconception. Sometime we actually get quite hot.'

Cogito, ergo sum.

'My dad must be a workout freak! He spends all day exercising his options.'

All Ears

"Somewhere in France Maureen has a tête-à-tête."

"I may be a big frog in a small pond, but I'm still a damn big frog."

Law 'N' Order

Dog Formerly Known as Prince

"I’d invite you in, but I’ve been neutered."

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"You throw like a bitch."

Global Positioning Manual

Coy Polloi

The term's origin

"I said, we're gettin' low on ice."

"You're famous, Angus."

Crack Hoe

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, open sesame!"

'In order to cut down on clerical errors, I've bought in an expert.'

'The consultant came in and cut us all down to size.'