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Girl sees two doors: 1) Reading 101 and 2) Reading Between the Lines 101

Teacher to student: 'And what is the dictionary definition of 'Wikipedia'?'

Man Puts His Seatbelt on for a Literary Journey

"What does it all mean?"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

The Proust of Twitter

"I'm still pre-literate."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

The Elephant in the Womb

Homage to Hans Christian Andersen

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Museum of Natural Cliches

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

Famous Oxymorons...

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"