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Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"I'm trying to find another word for thesaurus."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Transylvanian backpackers.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Bed Spread"

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"I'm still pre-literate."

Myths and legends...

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

Wordplay: Export.

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

Smart Bomb.

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

Bibliomaniac

'A xebec and fluyt passed a heptad of shilpit grugrus.'

Famous Oxymorons...

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"When I said dig up everything on the former owners, I meant at the library."

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

"First the lady asks if I want to take this book...then she says I have to bring it back in two weeks!"

Falling in Love Over Books

'Caroline goes to her crossword compiling class on Thursdays.'

Egyptology Books form Pyramid

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"I can't believe this! All these filthy messages on your cell phone! And so many of them! What is it? 100? 500? 1,000?"