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"Da, I know what opprobrium means."/ "That's great, son. Do you know anyone else who does?"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

"I'm still pre-literate."

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

Crossword Dictionary Bookstore

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

Famous Oxymorons...

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

"I can't believe this! All these filthy messages on your cell phone! And so many of them! What is it? 100? 500? 1,000?"

"What does it all mean?"

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"My English teacher says there are many ways to solve a problem...my math teacher says there is one."

Thesaurus Publishing: Welcome, Greetings, Salutations

'The sagaman must have had a googol of inedita.'

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

"I don't speak Italian."

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

"When I agreed to learn the ABC's, I thought D through Z would be optional."

Phonetic Man

Dislecksick Sipport Grewp.h

"Dad, I know what opprobrium means." "That's great, son. Do you know anyone else who does?"

Somewhere In France...The Watsons have just discovered that English is not the universal language after all.

Punch Initials - P