Wooly Philosophers Gifts

'I can't wait to be shorn of all this wooly symbolism.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Pachyderm insomnia.

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'If you can't sleep...imagine you're at work.'

Genetic Manipulation

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

'Sure, have some wool to keep your eggs nice and warm...'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Thanks girls: Boy it's cold today!'

"Do you or do you not have any wool, and if so, how many bags full?"

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

"Wow, you're right, Alpaca Wool is very nice against the skin..."

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

"We quickly realized it was fruitless trying to compete, so now we work together and sell blended wool..."

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

One of their favourite games was to pull the wool over their eyes.

" know a bargain when I see one!"

Will work for grass

"Great, just great! School photos are tomorrow..."

'The wool is virgin - it's none of your damn business about the sheep!'

"It's raw, unprocessed wool."

'Well yes, I suppose it is a multiple-choice question'

Fleeces for sale

'I'm just adding to my collection of figurines.'

"Think for yourselves!" Shorn would finally die in a dead-on collision with Charlie the Mohawk Cow.