Woodwork Wunderkind Gifts

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

Whittler's Mother.

Like father like son.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Man building a tree house

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

"Most projects require three hands."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know how I managed without it."

"Looks like you've got carpenter ants."

'Just measuring you for the breakfast nook.'

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Carpenter

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

Ancenstry.com Your results: Oak: 80% Pine: 12% Maple: 3% Unknown: 5%

Reality home-improvement show.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

DIY Disaster.

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

Tree and man

"I'm getting notes of 2 x 4."

"Honey, I think these carpenter ants in the kitchen are Amish!"

'It says here dry rot is on the increase.'

Unfinished Furniture.

Lumberjack cutting down tree in the rain.

Little known trivia: Fred Astaire began tap dancing when he had loose floor boards, but no hammer.

'That inflammation's caused by splinters, Mr, Jenkins, I'd recommend switching to a diet of softer woods - say, pine or cedar,'

'Wouldn't it have been easier to cut off the top of the tree?'