Woodwork Wunderkind T-Shirts

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

Whittler's Mother.

Like father like son.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Man building a tree house

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

"Most projects require three hands."

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know how I managed without it."

"Looks like you've got carpenter ants."

'Just measuring you for the breakfast nook.'

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

Reality home-improvement show.

Carpenter

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

DIY Disaster.

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Unfinished Furniture.

'It says here dry rot is on the increase.'

Tree and man

"Honey, I think these carpenter ants in the kitchen are Amish!"

"I'm getting notes of 2 x 4."

Lumberjack cutting down tree in the rain.

'Wouldn't it have been easier to cut off the top of the tree?'

'That inflammation's caused by splinters, Mr, Jenkins, I'd recommend switching to a diet of softer woods - say, pine or cedar,'

"I can't give you a reason for what I do or a logical explanation as to what I do: I'm an artist..."