Wunderkind Fan Gifts

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"I said slime."

Boy makes snowman around a lamp post.

'You head south without me. I'll be fine.'

"It's probably just seasonal."

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

Skiing

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Do you come here often?'

'... But, wouldn't that be kind of like, cannibalism?'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

'It's a snow mobile.'

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

Baby at Christmas Dinner

'What's your poison?'

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

"I can't have the wart removed, I just got the Wicked Witch role in 'Wizard of Oz'."

Snowman buying sun tan oil

'A fight has broken out between Dr. Who fans and Star Trek fans. No hurry, the likelihood of anyone getting hurt is very small.'

"So there you are—I thought I heard someone squishing moodily about the moors."

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

"Eye of newt, spit of dragon ... eww - there's a hair in the brew."

I'm making the definitive sledding video.

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

"When they pass around the coffee and the...pumpkin pie!"

'I just figure out why this house isn't selling.'

"Come on...come on...throw it!"