Woodwork Admirer T-Shirts

'Termites!'

"A woodworm? Shirley-Sue, you again forgot to check the best-before date!"

"Yes, you do lovely work, but this isn't the stool sample I was looking for."

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

Rocking horse

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"Downton Abbey Road"

"Do you do much walking?"

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

Blue Dress

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

Frank Sinatra.

Strange man has a nose monocle.

"This one will go with everything,

Centaur falls in love.

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

Haunted museum

If this is how 3-year-olds see the world, it's no wonder they're always crying."

Victorian woman at a bar.

Mr. Picwick in chase of his hat

"That's brilliant Mr Beaver: These wooden platforms are a lot more durable than lilypads..."

Artisanal Pottery

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

Big Ballet Dancer.

"This is a great little vase! and now it makes me thing we should redo the living room."

Paris Fashions, Winter 1863-64

The five orders of periwigs

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.