Woodwork Admirer Pillows

'Termites!'

"A woodworm? Shirley-Sue, you again forgot to check the best-before date!"

"Yes, you do lovely work, but this isn't the stool sample I was looking for."

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Rocking horse

"Downton Abbey Road"

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

"Do you do much walking?"

Blue Dress

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

"This one will go with everything,

Strange man has a nose monocle.

Haunted museum

If this is how 3-year-olds see the world, it's no wonder they're always crying."

Centaur falls in love.

Victorian woman at a bar.

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

Artisanal Pottery

"That's brilliant Mr Beaver: These wooden platforms are a lot more durable than lilypads..."

Mr. Picwick in chase of his hat

Big Ballet Dancer.

"This is a great little vase! and now it makes me thing we should redo the living room."

The five orders of periwigs

Paris Fashions, Winter 1863-64

"Well sure, as art it sucks, but that's a lot of bricks to move."

A woodpecker fashions a statue of a woodpecker.

Baroque skier

Phil discovered the eighties disco was not quite what he'd expected