Woodsman With Connections T-Shirts

'Hold it. He's got a reprieve from the Governor!'

Monkey-artist

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

"Today, son, you are a man."

Camping with Mr. Thorough

"Let's see now - have we got everything?"

"Heck of a shot, son, but that's not a deer."

'I think you might've over-packed. We'll only be gone for an hour.'

Loggerheads

Castaway harnessing electricity.

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

Lumberjack's Epic Fail

Pinochio's Computer

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

Cutting the tree too early?

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

Lumberjack's Dog

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

'Is not the evidence of the accussed, members of the jury, a earrage of evasion and lies Do bears, or do bears not shit, in the woods'

Absurd log splitting machine

The Easter Bunny hits a hunter with his eggs and makes his escape.

Be careful around Sven. He lets the chops fall where they may!

Newton's Laws of Motion at work in the woods.

Bigfoot's outhouse

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

'Mine smell like coon urine. What does yours smell like?'

'Yuck Mum, this wood is way too dry!'

The camouflage skills,Norman had practiced in his living room were to prove less effective in the wild!

"There aren't too many things more unsettling than discovering an old mattress in the woods. So creepy." "It's like a cold case crime podcast waiting to happen... Let's get outta here!"