Modern Woodsman T-Shirts

"Honey, I've got to get going, I'm still searching for the forest."

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Lovely dovetail."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

'There's nothing like roughing it in the woods to make a man feel alive!'

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

"Today, son, you are a man."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"Let's scoot."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"Let's see now - have we got everything?"

Nick Offerman

"Most projects require three hands."

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

Wild West Text Showdown

"You lose your phone again, Rusty?"

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."