Woods Worker T-Shirts

"I'm going to knock you on your Axe!!"

Deforestation.

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

"Lovely dovetail."

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Off Duty.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Free Range Employees.

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Around here it got a little tricky...

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"Today, son, you are a man."

"You see? I told you if we tied ourselves to this tree they wouldn't cut it down. Persistence is the name of the game. Persistence."

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Hunter in stand in a Christmas tree tied to a car.

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

"The boss expects us all to be robots."