Woodland Athlete Gifts

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"I brought cocoa."

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Tree Funeral

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

Saving for Retirement.

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

"Hold up, little dude. I wouldn't go in there yet if I were you."