Woodland Balladeer Gifts

"I'm full of an unspeakable sadness and it goes a little something like this..."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Welcome Spring.

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"I brought cocoa."

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

Tree Funeral

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'it's the last bite that worries me.'