Bedside Balladeer Gifts

"If the medical treatment doesn't work, I sing them songs about medical treatment."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

"How many verses of 'Froggie Went A-Courting' are there, Jay, before your pill kicks in?"

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

"I need to take a call. Argue amongst yourselves."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

John takes a personivacation.

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

'That's my dad. He does his best work in the bathroom.'

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

'I realize I'm making a huge salary... but I gotta be me.'

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

Sidewalk the game

'I've called maintenance about your bed, Mr. Grimes...Mr. Grimes?'

"Here's another depressing song about me."

He's a brilliant doctor, but his bedside manner needs work…

"Your bloodwork just came back. . . the GOOD news is that you've definitely got some!"

'Actually, you're my second patient if you count that cadaver in med school.'

'It's alright for you - you're going home today!'

'We got your test results back. Read it and weep.' Bedside bloopers

"I'm full of an unspeakable sadness and it goes a little something like this..."

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?"

"The doctor is a little squeamish, so don't mention anything gross."

"It looks like the internal bleeding should - I'm sorry. It's taking everything in my power not to tickle you right now."

"Very funny, doc, but don't you think I should have some medicine?"

"We have to stop meeting this way, Allison!"

'Cattle Driver.'

Bedside manner could determine quality points.

'Well, if none of you have anything to say we may as well knock off early and go home.'