Heartfelt Balladeer Gifts

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

Romance

Happy Valentine's Day.

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

Have I told you lately that I love you

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"How many verses of 'Froggie Went A-Courting' are there, Jay, before your pill kicks in?"

Mum Hearts.

Heart-shaped guitar

'That's my dad. He does his best work in the bathroom.'

Spirit of love

'She saw right through me.'

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

"Your Honor, if it please the court I'd like to deliver my opening comments in the form of a power ballad."

Romance Music

Sinead O'Connor.

"This next one goes to a special someone who stole my soul... literally!"

Hopelessly devoted to you.

"Here's another depressing song about me."

You old Romantic!

"I'm full of an unspeakable sadness and it goes a little something like this..."

A Showbiz Love Story

"Mom, Dad, this is Eddie, my heart's shaman!"

Valentine's Day

'Cattle Driver.'

'Forget it! -- the last time we rented 'Lassie Come Home,' you howled all night!'

"If the medical treatment doesn't work, I sing them songs about medical treatment."

'Here's one I wrote to cover the sound of my wife's voice telling me nobody is going to pay to hear my songs.'

A prisoner pulls out his heart.

'Got the blues so bad...'

"The next song tells of the heartbreak of romance. The disappointments, the disagreements, the bickering. This is too difficult for me. I'm not going to sing it."

I Love My Mum

The Offer of Love