Woodland Consumer Gifts

"You bought one, too? That guy’s a really persuasive realtor!"

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

A rabbit giving another rabbit, 'rabbit ears'.

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"I brought cocoa."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Tree Funeral

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

Saving for Retirement.

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

"Hold up, little dude. I wouldn't go in there yet if I were you."

"Steve? Hold on, lemme grab my fiddle."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"