Wooden Leg Enthusiast Gifts

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

Rocking horse

"Man's best friends."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

D.I.Y

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'Did they deliver the new couch today?'

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

'It's a coffee-book table.'

Ok, now the Swedish mouse is just showing off. IKEA maze.

The Piano Dreams Of Home

"Well I have to go, my ride is here."

"It may not be resplendent, Your Highness, but it's totally ergonomic."

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

I see

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

'We do like the children to have wooden toys.'

"Who let the dining-room set into the liquor cabinet again?"

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

Man on motorbike.

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."