Wooden Horse Enthusiast Gifts

'Is this admissable?'

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

And you will know it has all be worth it when he's up and about again.

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

D.I.Y

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"Today, son, you are a man."

'What's founder?'

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

Stubborn Horses

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

Lumberjack Christmases.

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

'It's a hybrid.'

Horse Clean-up