Woodchuck Fan Gifts

"After all these years of chucking wood, I can't believe we now have to verify that we actually can chuck wood, and exactly how much."

'OK, I give up - how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?'

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Best before 65 million BC.

'Okay, on the count of three we fight back. One. . . Two. . .'

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

Adult Barbershop

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

Raging Bull on Ice

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

Artist paints nude model with Etch-a-Sketch.

'Dauber Micawber'

"Sorry, but you need at least a Masters to get into the Deep Woods."

Tea and Sugar Rationing

'I thought you were trying to lynch me, Mom.'

Elvis' autopsy

Pirate Artist

"If there are nuggets in the sluice, let's dine out tonight."

Santa and elves drinking eggnog.

"They play with our shoes - we'll play with theirs."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack In the Big House

"I don't care if this is better for my back, I'm startin' to feel ridiculous."

How to wear a false moustache.

'Assuming, of course, that a woodchuck could chuck wood.'

'We need your exact age...'Woodstock Generation' isn't specific enough.'

Penguins - one is skating.

White Wine on Ice!

"We didn't spot any of the birds we were looking for, but we did have an Elvis sighting."

For lunch, Maude bought the duck wrap.

"Nonsense, Mother. You'll probably outlive us all."

"Hypoglycemia? Well, maybe. But like that pain in your shoulder, it could be a lot of things."

'I object, your Honor! How much wood would woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood is purely conjecture!'

Sneezing duck.

Furthest bounced drunk.