Wizardry Enthusiast Pillows

'He's got his head stuck in a book.'

'When I became known as 'The Accounting Wizard', the hat became inevitable.'

"A heart would be great, sure, but what I'd really like is a working human penis."

"After all these years, I'm sure of only one thing: when I heat the liquid, it boils."

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

Wizard of Ma's...

"You can't cut my head off! -- I have tenure!"

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

Emma Watson

'Payday in OZ'

Wicked Witch Flattened In A Football Game

'MOM! -- Kevin's sticking pins in my Harry Potter doll!'

'Spare brain mister?'

John Wooden.

'It's exploded! The wizard warned him to break it in gently.'

'I'm sorry, Miss, but you can't get to 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' from Kansas.'

'Once you do transmute lead into gold, you'll find the market for it is very speculative.'

'I need a spell to vanquish Harry Potter hype.'

'It says right here, sir, three times as much iron as other supplements.'

Books. Harry Potter and the Huge Pile of Royalties.

Updated Stories. The Wicked Witch Of The West Tries A New Tactic To Get The Ruby Slippers. Security Checkpoint. Remove your shoes, please.

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

"We ran some tests, and it turns out that Dr. Stephens here is a Hufflepuff, whereas I'm more of a Ravenclaw."

"Actually I've made a pretty good career out of not having a brain."

"We stir the brew all morning, Marissa comes in whenever, stirs the brew for an house, takes a smoke break, goes on her phone, we stir the brew, do some chanting, the sun comes up, whatever, we're still stirring, Marissa's on her phone again, and I'm, like, 'Seriously, Marissa?'"

"Take heed! For your journey is filled with long delays and unexpected service charges!"

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

Toadstools

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

Desert Island BBQ

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"I can't believe he brought her."