Witty Witch Gifts

"Try splashing me now."

"Bed Spread"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'Always the wise guy.'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

Conference Room. I don't have the heart to tell him it wasn't a compliment when the boss said "in every brainstorming session Ernie is a ray of sunshine."

"She can be outspoken."

Technical specifications: semi-automatic 1.2 mm cartoon launcher. 7.5 inch barrels holds a full stick of graphite. Fires rounds of sarcasm, satire and spoofs. Takes out religious fanatics with sharp wit.

Death Watch

Wise Cracker

Knights of the iPhone

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

No Action Comics

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

Build a better mousetrap and the IRS will beat a path to your door.

Probably should have cleared my bookshelf before the zoom call...

'I'm worried that my crippling anxiety is going to shorten my life.'

"I thought you meant a football pool."

"It's nice to know I've still got it."

"Yes I do like intelligent women - what a stupid question!"

Flat Foot

"My Dad told me not to make the same mistakes he did. That doesn't leave much left!"

"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence downed set free the first turkey he sees."

One Way/Two Ways.

Mechanics price list.