Witty Wardrobe Warrior Gifts

"Disaster insurance doesn't cover fashion disasters and if it did, your outfit would be considered a pre-existing condition."

(NO) Shirts With Writing On Them

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

Puss in Heels

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Joseph and his coat

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

"Is there a seamstress present?"

'Let me guess - a toastmaster?'

Easter Egg

'Why can I never find my camouflage trousers?'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

"I'm looking for a nice basic piece of clothing that can fulfill every need I have."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

Technical specifications: semi-automatic 1.2 mm cartoon launcher. 7.5 inch barrels holds a full stick of graphite. Fires rounds of sarcasm, satire and spoofs. Takes out religious fanatics with sharp wit.

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

Knights of the iPhone

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

'zillions spent learning about weight loss... But no one has a clue about weight shift.'

Jeans Styles

'The sequel to The Emperor Wore No Clothes.'

"Remind me to never take the shortcut through the Christmas Sweater workshop."

"Don't get mad at me - you're the one who threw your robe in the dryer."

"I'm not wearing that - it screams first day of school."