Witty Vehicle Warrior Gifts

"You need orthopedic brake shoes"

Thru versus Through Traffic

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Bumper stickers: 'Keep on Truckin''; 'Keep on Trunkin''.

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

Caution: Construction workers standing around and drinking coffee.

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

'That last hill was a bit steep!'

Car wash / Mouth wash

'I think we have some stowaways.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

'No! we're not lost! And I don't mind asking directions! I'll ask the next guy that walks pass!'

"You've got to be kidding. I finally start getting the hang of those traffic circles, and now this!"

'I need both hands for steering.'

Themeless Park - 1 Mile

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"This can't be good."

I break for toilet paper

A house being demolished in order to make way for a road widening scheme, with the occupants being evicted.

A Semicolon.