Witty Jokes Pillows

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

Leaving cards.

Heart To Heart

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

Whipping Cream

Do you believe in money at first sight?

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

"You have a lot of unresolved anger and it's settled in your hat."

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Spiv

Is this your father, little guy? No, lady, my father is a libel attorney, and you'll be hearing from him.

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

People want as much government as they deserve.

"Is the light bothering you?"

David Letterman

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

Under Canvas

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

Tom Bowler

Valentine Comix

"Once you get past the divine right of kings, I'm not much into theology."

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."