Witty Golfer Gifts

'Wow! That's some sexy looking club you've got there!'

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Too many beers at lunch?

'Hmmm...I think I've figured out why you're slicing...'