Witty Athlete Gifts

Hammer thrower twisting his leg.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'Oh, and one more thing

Footballer kicking his own brain.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Hold for one more page, then roll over into the bended elbow, resting chin pose. Book yoga.

'Go deep.'

Hot dog.

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

Knights of the iPhone

Technical specifications: semi-automatic 1.2 mm cartoon launcher. 7.5 inch barrels holds a full stick of graphite. Fires rounds of sarcasm, satire and spoofs. Takes out religious fanatics with sharp wit.

'I think things went wrong for me in the fifth round.' 'In hindsight, was that a good time to begin meditating?'

"I'm sorry, but you're not the patient your father was."

'No doubt about it... serves are MUCH faster these days!'

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

"You're one of the most twisted people I know!"

A man reading whilst running on the word LIBRARY

Golfer turned Javelin thrower

'Did you order the new sign?'

A man reading whilst running.

'If I fall asleep and my team scores, please fist bump a member of the hired help for me.'

'She's in training for the Olympics. The 100 metre sprint to the checkout.'

"I met so many friends out jogging, the only thing running was our mouths."

'Please try to be more tactful with your co-workers...' 'Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic...'

Is my mother-in-law the only one who shows up with an attache case?

'I've forgotten my knee pads, you've strapped a gas bottle to your head. I dunno. It doesn't bode well, does it?'

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

Find the dummy...

Cricketers

Gym. Looks like you had a great workout! I just walked in from the parking lot!