Witty Sports Lover Gifts

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'No doubt about it... serves are MUCH faster these days!'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Free Speech has heavy price.

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"