Witty Exchanges Pillows

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

Paper Boy

"Inactivists"

'Oh, and one more thing

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

Heart To Heart

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'This is a no rise office.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

"My husband would get out and change the tire, but he has a lug nut allergy."

"Ooooohhh, now that's what I call a piercing."

"Is it a witty and insightful exploration of the zeitgeist of 'boundaries' or is it in fact, the way out?"

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

"You've put on weight."

'I heard he was funny.'

'You give me flintstones. If great light climbs up sky again tomorrow, I keep stones. If great light don't climb up sky, you lose stones.'

"I'm sorry, but you're not the patient your father was."

"You're a plumber, I'm a doctor. Now that I've given you some free medical advice, how about stepping into my kitchen and fixing my leaky faucet?"

"I felt the Earth Move!"

De Ja Vu Inc.