Witty Exchanges Collector Pillows

"I've been diagnosed with duel personalities."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Dreams I have had...

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

Springtime rabbits.

I love ewe.

"As I thought...the carefree extravagant days are over. There's no marble foyer."

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

Backdoor

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

Hen Behaving Badly.

Did you actually pass the bar? Usually, I go in at lunch for a beer, but yes, today I passed it. Care to join me when I do go in later?

"This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'."

Second hand store: 'LEFTOVERS AGAIN!'

Airbus

Cut A Rug

Plane Migration.

Care Home Eject Button.

This beer has given me the courage to invite you back to my place. This wine has given me the courage to invite you to drop dead.

Train Of Thought

"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial."

"In a world where cockroaches are cute"

'Never mind the fresh food nurse - at my age I need all the preservatives I can get!'

Penfriend

Kebab doner card

The origin of the Easter Bunny/ Easter egg connection

"You've put on weight."

"Being smart is great! I wish I was smarter! But I would never want to be a smart Alex. That would be annoying."

'I'm not naturally dense you know...Its taken years of practice.'

'Cold today, isn't it?' - 'Yes, I actually saw a solicitor with his hands in his own pockets.'

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'