Witty Exchanges Collector Pillows

"I've been diagnosed with duel personalities."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Dreams I have had...

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

I love ewe.

Springtime rabbits.

"As I thought...the carefree extravagant days are over. There's no marble foyer."

Backdoor

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

Hen Behaving Badly.

Airbus

"This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'."

Second hand store: 'LEFTOVERS AGAIN!'

Penfriend

Train Of Thought

Cut A Rug

'Never mind the fresh food nurse - at my age I need all the preservatives I can get!'

Plane Migration.

Care Home Eject Button.

"In a world where cockroaches are cute"

"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial."

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

"In other words homogenius."

'Cold today, isn't it?' - 'Yes, I actually saw a solicitor with his hands in his own pockets.'

'I'm not naturally dense you know...Its taken years of practice.'

"Being smart is great! I wish I was smarter! But I would never want to be a smart Alex. That would be annoying."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

Kebab doner card