Witty Exchanges Fan Gifts

'A cheeky red?'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

Paper Boy

"Inactivists"

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

Cold caller.

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

The Gilmore Girls

'This is a no rise office.'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'I'd like an 'Innuendo' please - a big one.'

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."