Witty Dialogue Pillows

The miracle of Jesus walking on eggshells

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

Jokes machine.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

The Algonquin Round Table

'Mom can I have another apple?'

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"So, what is your star sign?"

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

Bat out of Hell

Heart To Heart

The Gilmore Girls

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Try the fish. It's brain food"

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

'My favorite position? Chairperson of the Board.'