Witty Decorator Gifts

"I love these old decorations!"

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Filet minion

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

The Hammer

"Can that be right?"

Yard Sale

Pinata Trophies

'The roof needs icing.'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

'It's a coffee-book table.'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!