Witticism Enthusiast Gifts

Witty T-Shirt Guy

The man of the hour is the guy whose wife asked him to wait a minute.

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Czarcasm

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Gold versus Knowledge

Stephen Fry.

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

Oscar Wilde

The Book of 'Everything You Need To Know.'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

Pressing Problem

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."

Scale indicates the value of books.

Jugular Vein

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

To some people, sarcasm is a second language.

Another day, another conquest

'Yes, we made something better than sliced bread and built a better mousetrap, but maybe R&D needs new blood.'

Aleksandr Griboyedov

'He may be loaded, Tammy, but he's still a dirt-eating worm.'

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

Meaning of Life $5.00

"Try letting go."

Poet and Peasant

Brains aren't everything - to some people they're nothing.

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

"He loved self-referential humor."

Liquor is legal, not compulsory.