Wit Collectors Gifts

Hen Behaving Badly.

'Lance, the more I drink the funnier you get!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Doggone

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Cat Burglar

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Czarcasm

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Silly wig.

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

A man taking a bow

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Generic Store: Sign in Window

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Voltaire

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Lady in a pretty dress