Wishing Well Wonder Gifts

Wine Well

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

What else is there to wish for?

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

' Get ready to make a wish.'

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

Storm in a magic lamp.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Inkwell Genie.

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

"Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue disappeared."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

Genie in bottle grants maid's wish.

"I had half a date last weekend."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

'Before I grant you your wish you have to fill out an environmental statement.'

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

Wishing Well: Tax reciept available for business related wishes.

Fairy God Mothers Anonymous - "I've just been too much of a people pleaser."

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

'Make your wishes, but I can't promise anything regarding jobs.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'