Wise Water Drinker Gifts

'Its hard to keep in stock with the aging baby boomers.'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Lost and Profound.

On Holiday

The drinker.

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

'There's no charge for the advice and wisdom, but I would eventually like those jumper cables returned!'

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'May I have a glass of Perrier with a twist of lemon and a straw?'

Bad times for retirees.

'Don't tell me we've been following the wrong light!'

Holiday-maker taking hotel's entire drinking water supply, "All inclusive, then!"

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'Don't even think about it. Your food bill is high enough.'

If that's my psychiatrist, I'm not here, but wherever I am, I'm living in the moment. ? ? Ring.

The wine and water lists.

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

The professor had developed a product that would change the world forever.

'You're at the dangerous age, Mr Frubman. Have you considered buying some 'dangerous stocks'?'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"The Meaning of Life is to take advantage of opportunities."

"So how did 'DRY JANUARY' go?"

Actually, I'm not really a guru...

Global warming finally hits home. . .

I always figured that when I got old I'd have all the answers -- and then they revised the test!