Wise Parent Gifts

'You never make the same mistake twice. You always come up with a new one.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

"What did you learn in school today that I'd object to?"

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

"Well, do you have proof it wasn't bigfoot?

'We're not paprazzi. We're your parents.'

"His room is always clean. Do you think we should take him to a psychologist?"

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

"Go ask your mother."

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

Two breasts: No waiting

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

'Said once, and never again!'

"Don't make me come over there."

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

I should have listened to my Mum: 'Never sit down during the hunting season...'

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

"Nature, nurture or a bit of both?"

"I don't have a story, Tommy. I can offer a retrospective of your day, followed by a deep-dive to identify opportunities for improvement."

'I've got the children busy finding a solution to the Middle East crisis...'