Parental Wisdom Appreciator Gifts

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Judge, jury and executioner.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'Except...That.'

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"He made me promise I'd never mistreat you. Then he made me sit and listen to three house of dad rock."

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

'Said once, and never again!'

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

'Get a job!? Dude, your daughter and I are working fulltime trying to get you a grandchild!'

"Don't make me come over there."

I should have listened to my Mum: 'Never sit down during the hunting season...'

$200,000 to raise a kid in America! Do you regret the expense? Of course not, sweetie! You're worth every cent. That's a relief. Because I need $20 for the movies!

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

Friends began to feel that Gina was only dating Howard as a father figure.

Parental Valentines Day Cards

"I don't have a story, Tommy. I can offer a retrospective of your day, followed by a deep-dive to identify opportunities for improvement."

"Baldo, school has always been about learning, expanding your mind, becoming a better person."

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

"You don't need those glasses. Life is already in 3-D."

"I've said it until I'm blue in the face - keep sitting on walls and something bad's going to happen. But what do I know? I'm just your mother."

"Some days I wake up and feel so old..."

'It gives me a different perspective on things.'

'People must be crazy to pay to hear a lecture! I get 'em free at home every day!'