Wise Men Humor Lover Gifts

"Bloody typical, you wait for ever, then three of the buggers come along together!"

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"I love this time of year."

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

Spiv

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

Religious toilets.

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

Good Christians should be willing to die for President Trump."

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

"He's been talking to that cat again!"

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

'Commons Bar' - "I would never vote to bring back flogging...why should criminals get for free what MP's have to pay for?"

'You're sexy when your mind is somewhere else.'

"You're definitely going to need an extraction."

'What do you mean 'What would Jane Austen do?''

'You look lovely today.'

'How come when you're right it's female intuition and when I'm right it's dumb luck?'

Three wise men following a lightbulb

Hunter about to fall into a trap set by deer.

You must be this tall to bump head on sign.

Society for Asking Stupid Questions

'Narcissism Helpline. How can you be of assistance?'

"Phil!"