Wise Guy Admirer Gifts

'You wouldn't want to know.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I love this time of year."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

Leonardo's first drawing

Candle Moment

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

Scale indicates the value of books.

'He's a successful investment advisor.'

Wilhelm Dilthey

Einstein's most embarrassing moment

"You have to admire their ingenuity at least -- They're burying their apple cores."

Actually, I'm not really a guru...

Poet and Peasant

"I used to live each dray to the fullest. Now I'm satisfied with every other Tuesday."

Three wise men following a lightbulb

Telepath for Ms Thompson...

'My problem is that I'm a nice guy.'

"You can try all you want, but being smooth is just something you're born with."

A Cool Invisible Cow.

Counsellor is an owl.

A Bad Time for John Thomas.

"Why do I get lumbered with Myrrh!"

"I'm not looking for absolute wisdom. . . just enough to get by."

Shoe Tree

'Bill eventually came to regret selling his sole to the Devil.'

Thomas Edison's brother, Wilmer...couldn't even figure out how to turn on the light.

'Remember Buck, even geniuses have midlife career changes.'

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'