Wise Elder Admirer Gifts

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'

Archimedes statue with a lever

"What old school? This is my life."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

Scale indicates the value of books.

"I've gone for a retro phone."

Toxic Relationship

"They just don't make 'em like Doc Malone anymore!"

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

"I used to live each dray to the fullest. Now I'm satisfied with every other Tuesday."

"He's all right, but I'm looking for a guy who can really make me laugh."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

Three wise men following a lightbulb

The Latter Day Wisdom of Solomon

"When are you going to give in and buy a cell phone?"

"Hi! Just a quick call to say thanks for still using a landline."

"I'm not looking for absolute wisdom. . . just enough to get by."

"Why do I get lumbered with Myrrh!"

The End is Nigh!

Flea Market Reenactment

"I'm only attracted to older women."

"I you want to know the age of my nan, just count the rings."