Wise Counsel Enthusiast Pillows

"The path to enlightenment is only round when you call your mother."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'In general, do the right thing.'

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

Counselling Cash.

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

'Money DOES make me happy.'