Wise Counsel Enthusiast Gifts

"The path to enlightenment is only round when you call your mother."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'In general, do the right thing.'

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

Counselling Cash.

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

'Money DOES make me happy.'

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'