Counseling Enthusiasts Gifts

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

'Do these hovering black helicopters have anything to do with you?'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'You lost your home and farm. Do you want to talk about it?

Personal Relationship Counsellor

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'Therapy in L.A.'

Express Therapy

"I'm going to level with you. I find you to be disturbingly insane."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'Since I've been identifying with you, I've been appointed director of the Millwood Psychiatric Institute.'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'The way this works is that you say the first thing that comes to your mind...'

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

'Just because they're afraid of you, it doesn't mean they don't like you.'

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?