Wise Advisor Pillows

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

Mom, 'The Original life Coach' .

A man giving advice to his son

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

Saving for College.

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Oh, and one more thing

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

Poor vs Rich

Lost and Profound.

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

The blue-collar diner for white-collar people...

"Next?? How should I know what comes next?"

On Holiday

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

'There's no charge for the advice and wisdom, but I would eventually like those jumper cables returned!'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'I just feel so used all the time.'

"If you don't bury 10% of your bones, you'll have nothing when you retire."

Bad times for retirees.

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'