Wise One Pillows

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

Lost and Profound.

On Holiday

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

'There's no charge for the advice and wisdom, but I would eventually like those jumper cables returned!'

Guru in a maze.

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

Bad times for retirees.

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

Having a senior moment

"The Meaning of Life is to take advantage of opportunities."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"You must learn to fight temptation: the only businesses open at night tend to be bars and nightclubs..."

Actually, I'm not really a guru...