Wise One T-Shirts

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

Aging Support Group

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

Lost and Profound.

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

On Holiday

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

'There's no charge for the advice and wisdom, but I would eventually like those jumper cables returned!'

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

Guru in a maze.

Bad times for retirees.

'Don't tell me we've been following the wrong light!'

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

Having a senior moment

"You're not old. You just have more leeway to scold strangers, and their kids, and feel good about it."

"The Meaning of Life is to take advantage of opportunities."

"You must learn to fight temptation: the only businesses open at night tend to be bars and nightclubs..."

I always figured that when I got old I'd have all the answers -- and then they revised the test!